Musings on being a pregnant sober person

Before I got pregnant, I was also sober for over a year and a half. The people that know me knew I choose not to drink alcohol so it wasn't a big thing for me when I became pregnant like it is for other women. I've learned life is way to full for me to numb it out with alcohol. This definitely took me some time and now that I am 26 months sober today (yes 2 years and 2 months!) it is no longer a struggle for me. Other women (and men) ask me how I do it and that it must be difficult when other people are drinking around me. I hear what they're saying on every level because I've been there and I'm not denying it was hard and it DOES take time to adjust to living a sober lifestyle. 

Being pregnant, there are still times when I struggle. When my husband and I were on vacation a few weeks ago, I really wanted a margarita at the Mexican restaurant we went to and a glass of wine at the bar. Being in an environment where other people were enjoying a drink and living it up during happy hour, I couldn't help but to sigh over my Shirley Temple. I mean it was delicious--probably more delicious than any alcoholic beverage (yes you eventually lose tastebuds for alcohol once you quit drinking) but I still felt left out. Of course it was easier for me to turn down alcohol because I'm clearly pregnant but the desire to "go with the group" was still there. People at work that didn't know I'm pregnant told me I'm allowed to "enjoy a glass of wine." I smiled and laughed a little bit. Of course they have no idea I don't drink but it just goes to show how common it is for humans to lust after alcohol. 

And to be honest, I sometimes think about going back to drinking once I have the baby. At times it can be very stressful to be pregnant! Life can also feel like it is too much and to manage all of these overwhelming feelings, why not just take a drink? It is tempting but then I remember its just my mind trying to trick me again. Then I go back to remembering the 1,874 reasons why I chose sobriety over 2 years ago and I happily sip my water with lemon.