Growing Through What You're Going Through


When I was much younger, I thought I had all my shit figured out. I would graduate college, get a respectful career, move my way up the corporate ladder, marry my soulmate, have a few kids, take two vacations a year and live a life of pure happiness.  When I discovered in my late twenties that I wanted to work for myself, I realized I did not want the life I thought I wanted. As I became more self-aware and came into the truth of who I really am on a soul level, my feelings shifted. When I came to this realization, I was not quite ready to embrace the truth myself. I also was not ready to share my deepest desires with my own friends and family out of fear of being too much for them. I did not know anyone else at the time who wanted to start their own online business so this was a very vulnerable spot for me. I stayed quiet for a few years, denying the truth of who I am from all the people I loved and more importantly, I concealed the truth from myself.

One day I woke up and I realized keeping the truth from myself does not do my soul any good. I wanted my own online business and I knew this for sure, I just didn’t know exactly what that looked like for me. I did know that putting one foot in front of the other was going to help me get closer to what it is I wanted to do. One of my first big steps was the decision to get sober. I had a very bad habit of drinking too much wine to alter my mood and take me a way from the things I really needed to do to better my life. Stopping this habit woke me up to how much time drinking alcohol really wasted for me. It was the same old story of me drinking too much, fantasizing and talking about my dream life, yet never putting any of it into concrete action. Alcohol was stalling my growth and pausing the momentum I needed to immerse myself into the lifestyle of my dreams. Once I stopped drinking, I began growing. My life started to move forward very quickly and I no longer had an excuse to not do the work. I am now almost 15 months sober and my life has radically changed for the better in that time period than the 12 entire years of my adult life I was drinking alcohol. This was a powerful transformational period of growth for me.

Granted it was not easy. I wanted change so much for myself that I was willing to do whatever it took to get there. I began working with a business coach, building a website, I joined the Institute of Integrative Nutrition, opened my own Arbonne business, and most importantly, I began implementing daily mindset shifting rituals and practices into my daily life. I became calmer, meditated more, and journaled like crazy to get to the root of what I was feeling and experiencing everyday. My relationships began to change, I started to see how precious life really is when I lost my grandmother in January of this year. Living a life full of regrets and “what ifs” was no longer an option for me. Somedays I wake up and I feel like a failure at life. Other days I feel fantastic. Some days I feel so overwhelmed with worrying about money, my job, comparing my life to the lives of other people that I just want to throw in the towel and give up on my dreams.

When I go to those dark places in my life, I remember that my soul knows the way. My brain is keeping me safe and trying to convince me to do what I have always done. My soul knows better though and the way to enlightenment is step by step. Step by step we grow through what we go through. Life is a  long road with many turns and detours, however if we keep our eye on the destination, we look back and realize it was the journey and times of transition  that were absolutely delicious.